Saturday, February 25, 2012

Diets Don't Work. For me.

I couldn’t stick to a diet plan if my life depended upon it. I can’t count the number of times I have tried one. (But of course only half-heartedly, because I couldn't stick to any one of them). When I think back to all the time, effort, and money I have spent on these silly things, it makes me cringe. Especially since there's no looming medical reason why I need to lose the 5-10lbs I (must have) thought would have such a postitive effect in my life. Really? (As if losing 5-10lbs would just be the best thing ever. Everyone knows that winning the lottery is the best thing ever) ;)

Let me tell you some expensive facts about my shady diet past. (And honey, if you are reading this post today, I would suggest stopping now).

So I found out about a juice cleanse in Toronto. I think I had heard about some celebrities doing the same one in the states to lose weight, and Toronto was the only place that had the same thing offered in Canada. (Come on, who doesn't want to do what the "stars" are doing?) It was only three days, and I figured that I could handle three days. I mean, who can’t follow something for only three days? Well, apparently me. After spending just over $300 for this juice cleanse, (yes that's right) I think I drank about half of them. I soon got bored. I love food and the thought of not being able to do such things like drinking my morning coffee made me sad. I love coffee people. A lot. I mean what were my options? Finish the cleanse and be depressed (as if a day or two of depression would have amounted to anything) or ditch the cleanse, eat real food and be happy with my extra couple pounds? I clearly chose option 2.

Well this acceptance of my body and desire to eat real food was apparently short lived since that didn’t stop me from ordering a new Calgary version of the same thing basically months later. I was so excited upon hearing that Premasai, a great little wholistic clinic here in Calgary, was offering the same cleanse. (Also, for about $300). Now at least this time, after I finished not quite one day (if I can remember correctly) and knowing that I wasn’t going to follow through, I was able to give the cleanse to a friend who (obviously more disciplined than I) was able to successfully complete it AND lost some weight. Damn! I should have done it!

Okay, so moving on. (Are you calculating costs yet? If you just put together the two cleanses, and a shit-load of diet books I've purhcased over the well as the special "food" that I bought for the said diets, we are easily looking at a minimum of $2,000 in lost money. And that's not where it ends).
The most recent purchase was a diet plan service. You meet with these lovely people at Simply For Life on a weekly basis, and they come up with a meal plan for you based upon your likes and dislikes. This I really thought would work for me. And that is why I paid the $800 or so for it. However, (I am still actually on it) I could never seem to follow the damn plans. I hate the feeling of being restricted. I hate the having to say “no” to certain foods if I really want them. I hate the feeling of deprivation. I also hate having to meet every.single.week. It’s too much for my busy schedule. And then there’s the food preparation which takes a long time. Many times the dinner called for items like salmon, roasted chicken, etc. You know – low fat proteins with veggies (makes sense). But part of the problem for me was that I needed something really fast after I came home from work. And more times than not, I ended up just eating the food I had prepared for my husband and daughter instead of creating two meals. Who wants to do that?

So the next (and last) solution I had was a meal delivery service. There was a groupon out for a 6-day meal service and I wanted to try it. The idea here is that you receive all your food (6 “meals” a day for 6 days) in one bag (delivered twice – every three days). There is no cooking, no measuring, no guesswork. Guess what? I’ve got meals still sitting in my fridge that I was supposed to have eaten two days ago. Why you ask? Well because life got in the way, or I didn't like one of the items, or I just felt more like peanut butter toast. What was I supposed to do? Apparently, the answer to these questions is “Just Eat It”.

I am pretty sure you can see the pattern here now quite clearly. I am also pretty sure that my husband can see a spending pattern here too, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I get knocked off our joint account, and instead receive a monthly allowance to curb spending. Well, that wouldn’t work well for me either since I can’t follow a budget either. LOL….

Now that I have aired this dirty little secret, and since this post is already far too long, I will save my conclusions for the next post. On that post, I will tell you about my new plan for eating in my life, (which won’t cost you any more money, honey) since I do believe I have hit “rock bottom” in terms of wasting money on dieting/meal planning. You’ll have to check back soon to see what I mean.

Happy Saturday Everyone!

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